How to live with a narcissist?

Divorcing a Narcissist_Warning Sign

 

Do you have a loved one who is intolerably a narcissist. Well I did have a few experiences. I would love to share my experiences with you.

I will first list out the few plans for a better living with a narcissist whom you can never avoid.

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Plan 1

Identify the narcisist. Perhaps you are dealing with a person who pretends to be one, but might not be the same by nature.

At work place you might find people who have a bossy nature. They might be forcing themselves to face the leadership. When you interact with them, you might find he/ she is a totally different person.

A narcissist expects to be recognized as superior or special, without superior accomplishments.

A narcissist expects constant attention and admiration from others.

A narcissist is preoccupied with thoughts and fantasies of success.

A narcissist lacks the ability to empathize with the feelings of others.

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Plan 2

Does he / she tend to use you for their needs?
or
Do you tend to pay more attention to their needs than your own?

They constantly talk about their problems, but rarely is supportive in return. To an extreme narcissist, people are things to be used.
Mostly this nature is taken for granted. We might help this person out of love. But when its we who need the help, we might get helpless! This person who we had considered so close no longer listens to our help. It is automatically assumed that we will take care of it.

Donot help him/her a lot and start concentrating on your life.

The help he/ she seeks might at first turn as a suggestion, later it would be a request and after it has been your task, he/ she would even point out when you don’t do it. If there is an excuse, he/she might turn the house upside down! Beware of this situation, before its late.

 

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Plan 3

Narcissist are control freaks!

The narcissist would always have excessive control towards you.
Some might control you through excessive love and some might show their anger.
Remember, narcissist is a person without self- esteem. You leave them, they would surely panic. Donot hesitate to move on leaving them. Choosing to live with them would inturn ruin your life.

 

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Plan 4

Narcissist- The Psychological game player

They never succeed in their never-ending quest for new ways to prove to themselves they’re worth something.
If you stop playing your inculcated role, you would be soon replaced by some one else. Even if you are adored a lot one day, be ready to be hated the same way some other day. Narcissists cannot love anyone truly. They only pretend to love their people for acheiving their goals.
Never consider the love from a narcissist to be a true love. You would surely be replaced soon!

Start having your life without them, before they abandon/replace you.

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Plan 5

How to react when they are angry?

The first advice is to please avoid such situations. The longer you help and love them, the longer you are accused.
If you are a prey of this situation, kindly have patience.
Remember to softly reply to this person. You would surely get angry but if you show it, you would be doomed.
The narcissist won’t stop until he/ she finalises that you admit your mistake even if it is not yours.
Scolding them in mind and having a guilty face can help. I try to write it down and tear before the person looks over it and makes it an issue.

After the break-up from the narcissist ( you have kissed the freedom finally!), here are the various plans for your life :

1. Start living avoiding them totally.

2. Do understand that the love you cherished from such a person was a lie!

3. Try to speak out your problems with a councellor or your close friends.

4. Try to be a happier and healthier person and never stop loving.

5. Stop judging yourself and boost up your confidence.

6. Narcissist usually target people with low confidence so, always questions yourself:
How can I take care of myself better?
How can I avoid sending out signals that I need help or a savior, or lots of attention?

7. Nip it in the bud by believing in yourself.

8. Promise yourself that from now on, you will be your own leader. You will believe in yourself and your achievements and will shower yourself with empathy. Yes, empathy, the quality totally missing from a narcissist.

9. You are a solid, genuine person and probably more successful than you allow yourself to believe.

10. Narcissists are picky. They don’t date just anyone.
They look for successful, accomplished people who are nice enough to let the narcissist’s self-created superiority overshadow them. If you have allowed a narcissist to prey on your lack of self-confidence, stop! No more downplaying who you truly are. It’s time to rise to the top. The lesson here is that you are much better than you think you are. Embrace the truth and move on.

Chase your dreams

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Have you dreamt yet?

Have you had visions?

Have you set goals?

Have you thought of being famous?

Sort out your dreams
before it just becomes a memory

Plan your life
before it just becomes someone’s plan

Your life is precious
so don’t waste any minute

Perhaps hanging out would be cool
but not when you have to work hard

Its your life in your hands
And yes, life is short

Make your mark in this huge world
before people forget who you were

When you are child
you will never know the value of time

But when you look back as an adult
You see a long path standing

You will be with no clue
and desperate to start from first

TV and social media can wait forever
not your precious time and youth

Tame yourself to a goal
and do the best for it

Work for your life
before its too late to think about

An IT Life

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Waking up at 9:00
Taking kids to school at 10:00
Walking to office at 11:00
Pressing keyboards till 21:00

A beep in the system
Assistance till 1:00
This is my life
A robotic life

Its too late
I just can’t wait
The dinner I have
Called my wife to save

She was cross with me
The other night
The trip i couldn’t foresee
A project visit onsite

The friendly chats with colleagues
The purposeful chats with others
A money bearing goose
The name I earned from my kids

Messed up life
And the future we worry
With no time for friends or wife
And the chase for luxury

Watching from the cab
A couple with kids on their lap
Craving to escape from these chains
To live with my family and friends

The Perishing Beauty

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Walking on the roads
unaware of dangers around

A lovely peacock couple
were in my town

It was a rare scene
of beauty and glory

The peacock moved ahead
and the peahen followed

They moved with might and courage
it seemed like they owned the place

The place had lost its vegetation
only few tiny birds lived

Mobile towers and new buildings stood high
replacing the tall trees they adored

Homeless creatures they were
straying around for food

Finally with no hope
they disappeared into the woods

Making their last visit
to their homeland they owned

When Eyes Speak…

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Lovely palms they raised

weeping ones they were

kids of no home and love

those eyes says it all

Deepest pain of lost love

the agony the mom went through

she lost her son to the ocean

those eyes says it all

 Kiss on those little legs

happiness and pain at once

happy mom of the new born

those eyes says it all

Tight hug with her man

from war and crisis he had

arrived home at last

those eyes says it all

Its amazing the way

eyes communicate to us

speech could make no sense

when eyes says it all

Unspoken Love

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Craving to see you all this time

Caught your eyes for the first time,

Shivering, when I found you gazing

the very feeling which made me dizzy

Scribbling my diary crazily

marking that precious day, I was so silly

began my lone journey of love

deeply feeling it was true love,

those shirts you wear

small chats you share,

all secretly inscribed in my heart

all I wanted was to give you my heart,

years rolled by, and I saw you again

smile you threw, confidence I gain

telling you my love, I decided then

nervous I was and all frozen,

my words and feelings were unspoken

when I found your heart already taken,

Crying in vain for the hidden love

a dumb child i was, losing my first love

was a terrible mistake with endless pain

decided to never fall in love again

Blood for blood!

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Hey cant you see me
its been a long time,i had felt you;
how could you forget me
when the love for you is in me;
dont you remember the day you vowed
or think of the day, we loved;
you wished i was always there,
to have you in my arms which was always fair;
are the promises made to be broken,
the love made to be unspoken;
my things dont remain at home anymore,
it pains inside when you ignore;
does it need to be alive
to feel my true love;

frustated and vexed you were
when you couldnt tolerate me near;
hit me on my head
the rod you carried had my blood
you didnt feel my pain when i screamed aloud
you could hear nothing as you never loved;

hanging around with a blonde now
taking her to the places we found love;
the same naughty little things made her smile
the recursive efforts with all that style ;
just reminds me the lust you had,
she being the next one you planned;

waiting for the night you would cry,
flying all the way from the sky;
i will dig out your heart when you plead,
you would know the pain when i screamed.