A true tribute to women

Bollywood actress Kalki Koechlin wrote a strong monologue for a solo performance at the 13th Indian Today Conclave on International Women’s Day on March 8. The monologue, which she dubbed as ‘Just Another Rant’, is a frustrated ode to women everywhere chained and bound by traditional patriarchy.

Here’s the full text of her monologue:

You remember in the beginning?

'Five husbands! That can't be fun, God know I have enough trouble with one': Kalki Koechlin writes a monologue on Women's Day

Kalki Koechlin

In the beginning God made man.

God made man in his own image.

And then that’s was it. ‘Man’kind, hu’man’ity, wo’man.

Man, man, man.

What chance in Hell did we ever have?

We were sidelined from the Big Bang.

You remember Draupadi?

Draupadi married off to all five Pandavas.

She garlanded only Arjun

But they told her you got to marry all of us.

Five husbands! That can’t be fun.

God know I have enough trouble with one.

Or what about Eve and the apple?

Blaming one woman for all mankind’s evil?

Soorya and Kunti,

The Virgin Mary

Do you know Gaia?

The Goddess Mother Earth

She’s the one we all trample on.

And remember Aphrodite

Goddess of love and beauty

Lest we forget, she was also

The patron of prostituting.

Persephone,

She was less known

Raped by Hades

She became Queen of the underworld,

Not even goddesses were left alone.

You might not know A’isha,

She was one of the wives of Prophet Mohammad

She challenged a Califh for power

It created quite a ruckus,

It led to war in fact,

All because of one woman’s fuss,

And so was born the tradition Islamic

That women should not engage in anything politic.

But of course they did,

Thank god they did.

Women have their ways,

As somebody once put it.

The Queen of Sheba, Empress Theodora, Rabia al’ Basra,

Cleopatra, The Victorian Era, The Mona Lisa

The Suffragettes, Marilyn Monroe, The sixties and burning bras,

The unpopular Thatcher and our own Indira

Et cetra et cetra and now here we are.

Here we are,

We’ve survived this far,

Thanks to seduction, perhaps some manipulation,

But mostly thanks to Mother Nature and ovulation.

Now look at all the queens and goddesses of history,

No prince came to the rescue,

No king ever went down on one knee,

No deity was even that trustworthy,

Yet all we’ve be told since we were three,

Are fairy tales, adverts, and pretty stories,

Telling us to pray, hope,

And wait to be saved.

Here we are today.

Here we are,

On International Women’s Day,

With some minor disappointments,

And a few little things to say.

The woman in red,

The girl in pink,

The widow in white,

The Burqa in black,

The colour of lipstick,

Viva Glam, Lady Danger, Fresh brew, Faux, Frenzy, Hot Gossip and Sweetie.

Ramblin, Siss, Creme cup, Paramount and Modesty

Fetish, Spice it up, Naked Paris, Honey love and Odyssey.

Apply, line, smack, seal, pout,

And you’re ready to go out.

Ugh!!!

Sometimes I just want an oversized T shirt, boxer shorts, unkempt hair and unibrows.

I want armpit hair long enough to plait,

I want a clean face without a trace of make up

I want to look the way I do when I wake up.

I want to scratch my head,

Dig my nose,

Lick my fingers,

Stretch my legs

And spread my toes.

I want to smile with my gums showing,

Bare my teeth and

Contort my pretty face into wrinkles.

I want my crow’s feet to look sexy,

Or my salt and pepper hair,

Or my sun burnt skin,

I want to be George Clooney basically,

But with breasts and a muffin.

Alas,

No…no…shhh…control, control!

Keep it down.

Stuff it up, bottle it in, switch it off,

Cross your legs, wear a bra,

Sit straight and smile sweetly for the camera.

I went to a party,

I went to a party where

I was looking for something real.

Glittering, flashing lights,

Sparkling clean glasses with something bubbly and expensive inside,

Stuck on smiles of painted lips and gorgeous, skinny, beautiful ladies all around,

I craved a touch, a caress,

But my senses were intimidated by cloned perfection.

I thought I could hear muffled wailing,

Nervous giggling,

Intoxicated complying.

I thought I could hear the buzz of millions, screaming out their instructions,

Sit down, stand up, stay,

This way, that way, go away

I can’t breathe, I’m choking.

This room is filled with smoke

From regrets and weak, nicely packaged cigarettes.

This room is filled with luxury and fame

And false dreams.

How to live with a narcissist?

Divorcing a Narcissist_Warning Sign

 

Do you have a loved one who is intolerably a narcissist. Well I did have a few experiences. I would love to share my experiences with you.

I will first list out the few plans for a better living with a narcissist whom you can never avoid.

images

Plan 1

Identify the narcisist. Perhaps you are dealing with a person who pretends to be one, but might not be the same by nature.

At work place you might find people who have a bossy nature. They might be forcing themselves to face the leadership. When you interact with them, you might find he/ she is a totally different person.

A narcissist expects to be recognized as superior or special, without superior accomplishments.

A narcissist expects constant attention and admiration from others.

A narcissist is preoccupied with thoughts and fantasies of success.

A narcissist lacks the ability to empathize with the feelings of others.

narcissist

Plan 2

Does he / she tend to use you for their needs?
or
Do you tend to pay more attention to their needs than your own?

They constantly talk about their problems, but rarely is supportive in return. To an extreme narcissist, people are things to be used.
Mostly this nature is taken for granted. We might help this person out of love. But when its we who need the help, we might get helpless! This person who we had considered so close no longer listens to our help. It is automatically assumed that we will take care of it.

Donot help him/her a lot and start concentrating on your life.

The help he/ she seeks might at first turn as a suggestion, later it would be a request and after it has been your task, he/ she would even point out when you don’t do it. If there is an excuse, he/she might turn the house upside down! Beware of this situation, before its late.

 

relationship-abuse-abusive-men

Plan 3

Narcissist are control freaks!

The narcissist would always have excessive control towards you.
Some might control you through excessive love and some might show their anger.
Remember, narcissist is a person without self- esteem. You leave them, they would surely panic. Donot hesitate to move on leaving them. Choosing to live with them would inturn ruin your life.

 

scientists-have-announced-a-new-unit-to-accurately-measure-narcissism-the-selfie-per-hour

Plan 4

Narcissist- The Psychological game player

They never succeed in their never-ending quest for new ways to prove to themselves they’re worth something.
If you stop playing your inculcated role, you would be soon replaced by some one else. Even if you are adored a lot one day, be ready to be hated the same way some other day. Narcissists cannot love anyone truly. They only pretend to love their people for acheiving their goals.
Never consider the love from a narcissist to be a true love. You would surely be replaced soon!

Start having your life without them, before they abandon/replace you.

open-uri20120709-15479-944l74

Plan 5

How to react when they are angry?

The first advice is to please avoid such situations. The longer you help and love them, the longer you are accused.
If you are a prey of this situation, kindly have patience.
Remember to softly reply to this person. You would surely get angry but if you show it, you would be doomed.
The narcissist won’t stop until he/ she finalises that you admit your mistake even if it is not yours.
Scolding them in mind and having a guilty face can help. I try to write it down and tear before the person looks over it and makes it an issue.

After the break-up from the narcissist ( you have kissed the freedom finally!), here are the various plans for your life :

1. Start living avoiding them totally.

2. Do understand that the love you cherished from such a person was a lie!

3. Try to speak out your problems with a councellor or your close friends.

4. Try to be a happier and healthier person and never stop loving.

5. Stop judging yourself and boost up your confidence.

6. Narcissist usually target people with low confidence so, always questions yourself:
How can I take care of myself better?
How can I avoid sending out signals that I need help or a savior, or lots of attention?

7. Nip it in the bud by believing in yourself.

8. Promise yourself that from now on, you will be your own leader. You will believe in yourself and your achievements and will shower yourself with empathy. Yes, empathy, the quality totally missing from a narcissist.

9. You are a solid, genuine person and probably more successful than you allow yourself to believe.

10. Narcissists are picky. They don’t date just anyone.
They look for successful, accomplished people who are nice enough to let the narcissist’s self-created superiority overshadow them. If you have allowed a narcissist to prey on your lack of self-confidence, stop! No more downplaying who you truly are. It’s time to rise to the top. The lesson here is that you are much better than you think you are. Embrace the truth and move on.

Chase your dreams

Image

Have you dreamt yet?

Have you had visions?

Have you set goals?

Have you thought of being famous?

Sort out your dreams
before it just becomes a memory

Plan your life
before it just becomes someone’s plan

Your life is precious
so don’t waste any minute

Perhaps hanging out would be cool
but not when you have to work hard

Its your life in your hands
And yes, life is short

Make your mark in this huge world
before people forget who you were

When you are child
you will never know the value of time

But when you look back as an adult
You see a long path standing

You will be with no clue
and desperate to start from first

TV and social media can wait forever
not your precious time and youth

Tame yourself to a goal
and do the best for it

Work for your life
before its too late to think about